For those of you traveling to AALS Faculty Recruitment conference next week to interview candidates, it is important to find ways to articulate, in a non-hypocritical fashion, how much you hate the candidate’s scholarship.

There’s just one problem: The candidate is a lot like you.

No worries!  I have some language that will still allow you to boast about your accomplishments while crushing the candidate’s hopes and dreams.

Your article: Published in prestigious journal

Theirs: Student editors can’t be trusted.

Your article: I’m a prolific author

Theirs: Quantity suggests something negative about quality

Yours: My reviewers said I was amazing

Theirs: Candidate’s reviewers were biased

Yours: The editors were responsible for the footnotes

Theirs: I found a typo! Candidate is a careless writer

Yours: Beyond the scope of the article

Theirs: Candidate failed to consider obvious paths

Yours: I publish in specialty journals

Theirs: Candidate can’t publish in traditional law reviews

Yours:   I publish in peer-reviewed journals

Theirs:   Candidate likely will have trouble getting tenure in a law school

With a little practice, your colleagues will still think as highly of you as they already do, and you’ll be able to destroy candidates that you don’t like.  Good luck!

Via Above the Law.

New thoughts on Above the Law.

Some prior thoughts about my own potential for narcissism.

My take on the need for meetings, via Above The Law.

I was cleaning out my file drawers and found this joke from about 20 years ago.

A graduate student had a cockroach and set it on a table and told it to jump.  It jumped to the end of the table.

The student picked the cockroach up and pulled off a couple of legs.  Then he set it down on the table and told it to jump again.   It jumped about halfway.

The student picked it up again and pulled off a couple of more legs.  It jumped, but not very far.

The student pulled off the last remaining legs.  He told it to jump, but it did not move.

The graduate student concluded that a cockroach with no legs is deaf.

Twenty years later, I realize my thesis adviser may have been insulting me.

My FAR Form.   Deans, you may start bidding.

Joe Lawprofblawg(1)


Frequently asked questions, answered by Miss Manners Lawprofblawg. Via Above the Law.

If you want to win at law school bring a goat to class.  Okay, not really.  Schedule!  More advice from me via Above the Law.

My post on Above the Law for 1Ls.


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