When law students freak out during exam review, it can be rough.  Via Above the Law.

Being a law professor isn’t all about you.  Check your ego.

 

Beginning of Law School advice: 

A 1L preparation guide here.

Starting your summer before law school?  Read here.

Should You Use A Laptop?   The debate parameters are here.

What courses should you take after your first year of law school?  Answer is here.

Avoiding drama in law school.  Advice here.

Nothing to fear, not even fear itself.  Avoiding the fear advice here.

More advice for 1Ls: Tips for Scheduling.

Conquering fear in law school.  Tips here.

Read the syllabus!  Here’s why.

 

Once you’ve settled in:

Missing a class?  Absence excuse form (humor).  Form here.

Recovering during Spring Break?  Advice here.

Keeping your humanity, and your sanity.  Advice here.

What are your law professors thinking?  Insight here.

‘Tis the season to chill out and focus.  Advice here.

Troubleshooting:  FAQ from 1Ls.  Answers here.

 

On final exams and grades:

Didn’t ace your finals?  Advice here.

Basic truths about final exam time.  Advice here.

9 mistakes you may have made on your final.

On grading of your law exams.  Some insight here.

 

 

 

Me (singing in shower): You write 16 tons/and what do you get/another day older and…

Knock knock knock knock.

 Me: Goodness, something must be urgent. Hang on! Getting dressed.

(Lawprofblawg opens door)

Prof 1: Hi, I’m Prof 1, I am a labor law professor. Actually, just wanted to point out that the original lyrics were 16 tons, because the song involves coal mining operations and company stores located on…..

Me: Thanks. (slams door).

Knock knock knock knock.

(Lawprofblawg opens door)

Prof 2: Hi, I’m a privacy expert at University of Prestige. I heard you were singing in the shower. Did you know my work in Harvard Law Review suggests a strong causal relationship between shower singing and password hacking at resort hotels?

Me: Thanks. (slams door).

Knock knock knock knock.

(Lawprofblawg opens door)

Prof 3: Hi, the privacy law expert was telling everyone that you were singing loudly in your shower and everyone could hear. As a copyright expert…..

Me: Thanks. (slams door).

Knock knock knock knock. 

(Lawprofblawg opens door)

Housekeeping: Good morning! Housekeeping.

Me: Thank God.

 

There’s always one in the crowd.  At least.

 

The Lawprof of the Night (sung to: Music of the Night, Phantom of the Opera)

Night time sharpens, heightens each discussion

Alcohol flows, increases each professor’s percussion

Quite loudly the senses are barraged with inebriated defenses

Of arguments shot down in broad daylight

 

Slowly, gently, night unfurls some liquor

Professors grasp it, mix it, tomorrow’s head will be tender

Turn your face away from the panels of midday

Turn your thoughts to my conversation bright

Turn your thoughts to the lawprof of the night.

 

Close your mind and never surrender to their arguments

Purge thoughts of all logic from before

Listen closely to my inebriated argument soar!!!

And you’ll see how brilliant I am…and more.

 

Loudly, deftly, let my argument caress you

Open up your mind, let your hope of escaping unwind

In the darkness which you know you cannot fight

The darkness of the lawprof of the night.

 

Let your mind start a journey to my awesome world

Leave all thoughts that you’re argument is as good alone

Let your soul take you to my philosophy

Only then can you worship me

 

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication

Talking over another, savour the libations

Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in

To the power of the articles I write

The power of the lawprof of the night

 

You alone can make my articles have cites

Tell me how awesome I am, the lawprof of the night

Frustrated?  Annoyed?  I’ve been there.  Gain some perspective.  Via Above the Law.

Are you a 1L considering using a laptop?  Think again.  Via Above the Law.

Or really, have you just thanked anyone who works in a library?  Via Above the Law.

The following exchange didn’t happen.  Yet.  I’m very excited about upcoming faculty meetings, though!

ME: OMG, a pokemon right here at the faculty meeting!  And I’m not even on my phone!

COLLEAGUE:  What are you talking about?

ME:  You’re Gliscor!  You can’t fool me.  I heard you speak just now.  Let me pull out my phone to capture you.

COLLEAGUE: Is this some Pokemon Go joke?

ME:  Hmmm…. you’re not uploading…. This is frustrating… I’m sure I just saw you use toxic orb at the meeting.

COLLEAGUE:  You clearly didn’t like what I said at the meeting.  Look, no need to be ….

ME: Maybe I have it wrong.  Maybe you’re Tentacruel…

 

 

 

Hey Justice Ginsburg,

I’m really upset that you would say something like that about a presidential candidate.  As you know, Justices should be above the political fray.

Not true, you say?  Well, you should at least avoid the appearance of impropriety.

Look, it just looks bad.  You don’t want people to question your impartiality, do you?

What do you mean that would be just ducky?

Okay, well, I understand you have viewpoints.  But we don’t want people to think your viewpoints cloud your object…..

What do spouses have to do with it?

You know, you’re difficult to talk to sometimes, even in an imaginary context.

What do you mean, see U.S. v. Alcoa, 148 F.2d 416?

 

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