For those of you traveling to AALS Faculty Recruitment conference next week to interview candidates, it is important to find ways to articulate, in a non-hypocritical fashion, how much you hate the candidate’s scholarship.
There’s just one problem: The candidate is a lot like you.
No worries! I have some language that will still allow you to boast about your accomplishments while crushing the candidate’s hopes and dreams.
Your article: Published in prestigious journal
Theirs: Student editors can’t be trusted.
Your article: I’m a prolific author
Theirs: Quantity suggests something negative about quality
Yours: My reviewers said I was amazing
Theirs: Candidate’s reviewers were biased
Yours: The editors were responsible for the footnotes
Theirs: I found a typo! Candidate is a careless writer
Yours: Beyond the scope of the article
Theirs: Candidate failed to consider obvious paths
Yours: I publish in specialty journals
Theirs: Candidate can’t publish in traditional law reviews
Yours: I publish in peer-reviewed journals
Theirs: Candidate likely will have trouble getting tenure in a law school
With a little practice, your colleagues will still think as highly of you as they already do, and you’ll be able to destroy candidates that you don’t like. Good luck!