Harvard University Logo

Tenured/Tenure Track Faculty 

College of Law

Harvard Law School

THE HARVARD LAW SCHOOL invites applications for the position of Alan Dershowitz Chair in Public Outreach. Position will commence August 2022. The Law School welcomes applications from scholars in all subject areas of the law.  However, knowledge of the law is not required.

Strong applicants must be willing to seek media attention, and take positions that may seem outlandish or wild to skilled observers in the legal community. In fact, we fully expect the ideal candidate to trade on any scholarly reputation they might have in enhancing their notoriety as media attention is constantly thrust at them. The more outlandish the theories, the better. We need people talking about our faculty, too. And we don’t offer dinner parties.

There is no expectation that the Chair will publish. The only requirement for the position is that the Chair say outlandish things. However, outlandish op-eds, blog posts, and tweets are highly recommended.

Harvard Law School offers a distinguished and collegial law school community in the setting of a premier research university, affording opportunities for cutting-edge legal scholarship and innovative interdisciplinary work. As Chair, you won’t be doing that. Keep your eye on the media as if you were running for office.

This is a nine-month, 100% time tenured or tenure track position.  As a member of the HLS faculty, you would teach students who will wonder after seeing you on the news if they know any law at all. However, your colleagues will support you by disavowing your ludicrous theories on social media. We also strongly hope you will encourage particularly skilled students to write books and run for office while also saying outlandish things. The market is highly competitive.

Applicants must have a J.D. or Ph.D. or their equivalent, a strong academic record, and a record of scholarly distinction that can be traded for media attention. This position is a full-time, nine-month, tenured position. Salary is commensurate with scholarly reputation and the willingness of the candidate to exchange that for media attention.

Harvard Law School is an equal opportunity employer that recruits and hires qualified candidates without regard to race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, national origin, disability or veteran status. We are particularly keen on intellectual diversity, and will give preference to candidates espousing common-good originalism.

For more information on this satirical position, contact Lawprofblawg@gmail.com.

Update: Stanford Federalist Society: This is parody. And you’re not even in it. Calm down.