News from the year 2030!

As Einstein described, light is the absolute maximum velocity.  Some matter has approached that speed, but never quite achieved it.

However, scientists have discovered two things that travel faster than the speed of light.

The first are student e-mails to the professor questioning grades after grades have posted.  Often, students have demonstrated the ability to e-mail AS a grade posts, the e-mail actually arriving before the grade posts in the system, effectively demonstrating time travel.

This is a pretty fast velocity, far exceeding the speed of light.

Faster still are student e-mails discussing when grades are posted, which is now the fastest thing known in the universe.

“I discovered the phenomena after turning in my Spring semester grades,” said noted physicist Gunter Langdell.  “Before they even hit the system, I had student e-mails expressing disappointment.”  Shaking his head, he continued. “But when I responded that next time the student should try harder, that hit every student in the school within seconds.  The velocity was astonishing.  It even exceeded the speed of student gossip.”

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