JUSTICE Ke: You know, I usually like to think of what word best describes a case, and the word that comes up for me is…..

JUSTICE Sc: Marriage?

JUSTICE Ke: No, millennia. Millennia plus time.

JUSTICE Sc: You do know millennia is a measure of time right? Let’s just cut to the chase. Looking at the dictionary, gay means happy. Courts can’t compel happy marriages. End of textualist story.

JUSTICE T: Stoic silence.

JUSTICE A: Forget about same sex marriage. I want to jump right into whether this opens doors for polygamy.


JUSTICE A: Um….no reason.

JUSTICE Sc: Seriously, answer the question. Will I be able to marry a dictionary if we rule in your favor?

JUSTICE Ke: I’m worried about the states. This is all happening so fast. Have they had sufficient time to oppress their citizens?

JUSTICE A: Because we are wearing things close to togas, I would like to bring up gay relations in ancient Greece.

JUSTICE B: I’m deeply concerned about changing the definition of marriage. However, changing election results doesn’t bother me one bit.

JUSTICE Sc: I’m worried that my arch nemesis Posner is writing a book about this as we speak.

JUSTICE T: Silence speaks volumes. My bookcase contains an infinite amount of invisible books about my oral argument thoughts.

JUSTICE A: Do you think the primary purpose of discriminatory laws is to demean people? No, this isn’t a rhetorical question.

JUSTICE Ka: I would ask you a question, but for some reason the guys are being huge homophobes right now and dismissing my questions.

JUSTICE Sc: It’s the anniversary of Carolene Products footnote 4, so really we should let voters decide whether to discriminate against gay people. I don’t see the irony in what I just said.

JUSTICE So: Have you seen what the institution of marriage is like? I’m not sure same sex marriage can demean this institution any further.

JUSTICE Sc: Don’t answer that question. It’s not your burden. Your burden should be to only answer my questions.

JUSTICE RBG: Anyone see the irony of how marriage discussion has now turned to discussions of procreation? Is there another abortion case around the corner?

JUSTICE Ka: Does anyone see the problem of defining marriage as procreation centered?

JUSTICE RBG [looking at Justice Sc]: I’ve thought of one.