Woke up quick at about noon
thought that I had to be in the classroom soon
I gotta get preppin’ before the day begins
Before my dean starts bitchin’ about my evaluations

About to go and damn near went blind
Young students on the path throwin’ out panic signs
I went in the office to get my power points
With the Macbook, luggin it hurts my joints

I bailed to the class and I called out my minion
And just as I thought, the fool was slackin’
I jumped in the office, hit the juice on my drawer
I got scotch and tequila, and a few drinks more

Then I let the computer speakers sing
I was pumpin’ old shit from Wagner’s Ring
It was, Classical, Classical at the top of the list
Then I played my own shit, it went somethin’ like this

Got my tenure by my sixth year
Writing the papers, teaching with fear
I went to the Dean to get the deal
Travel for a conference for a free meal

A colleague pulls up, who can it be?
It’s a untenured prof trollin’ me
She opens the door and she starts to say
“It’s all about makin’ that Harvard pub play”

‘Cause the profs in the school are always hard
Come talkin’ that trash and we’ll pull your (library) card
Knowin’ nothin’ in life but to be legit
Don’t quote me, student editor, I ain’t said sh*t

Bored as hell and I wanna get ill
So I go to a place where my double latte chill
The fellas out there tryna make that dolla’
I pulled up in my 2014 Honda

Greeted with a Grande and I start drinkin’
And from the Caramel Macchiato, my breath starts stinkin’
I gotta get the associate dean to leggo some money
Before I left I printed my CV

Pulled to the office, get him off the iPad
And then he said somethin’ to make me mad
He said somethin’ that I couldn’t believe
Gave the money to someone not me!

He started talkin’ shit, wouldn’t cha know
Told me I’d have to teach two classes in the evening snow!
And then I stood up and he started to shout
“Get the f**k out before I kick your old ass out!”

‘Cause the profs in the school are always hard
Come talkin’ that trash and we’ll pull your (library) card
Knowin’ nothin’ in life but to be legit
Don’t quote me, student editor, I ain’t said sh*t

Final exam trippin’ but its alright
Got my m-c answer key, gonna fly, grading, fly.

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